Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Every Individual is Different

When my mother stayed with us, she bonded instantly with the kids. Cantaloupe welcomed her grandma with open arms and Junior was just a baby to know anything. My mother enjoyed spending time with her grandkids. The thought of leaving behind her grandkids saddened her days before she went back to India. She continues to miss them now that she is in India. But she has established a bond with atleast Cantaloupe strong enough to stand against the distance separating them. They just connect with their heart.
My MIL is here with us now. The friendlier child that she is Cantaloupe has opened up to her instantly. Junior is gradually bonding with her. But MIL is showing some restraint. Her reasoning is that it is easy to get attached to kids when staying with them, but she is going to mighty miss them when she returns back to India. So she doesn't want to bond as much with her grandkids.

Hmm .... two different grandmas.... two completely different views ... Which one suits you better?

10 comments:

Just a grail said...

I sort of understand where your MIL is coming from, but to the kids it makes no sense. It is hard to leave someone we love but we should always make sure we know how much we love them.

Pixie said...

I second Grail on this...
But, personally, I would prefer the first kind of grandma for my kids...

Tharini said...

The one that lives in the moment, makes more sense to me. As I think it does to you too...:)

B o o said...

Especially with kids who DO live in the moment, its very important we do the same too! I think its actually their personality. Coz a couple friend of my dad visited us for 2 days and that aunty spent every min with my daughter and Ashu stuck to her and still talks about her even after 9 months. Dont even know when she ll meet that aunty next!

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

@Grail: Hmm ... I hear my MIL... but honestly how do we know how much to love?

@Pixie: Of course I understand what my MIL is trying to say, but is it possible to practice? Atleast for me, No.

@T: I share the same thoughts... why miss out on the current moment thinking about the future ??

@Boo: Exactly Boo ... what are the chances that someday if we do go back to India, Cantaloupe may not bond with MIL as much. Her prior experiences may play a big role there.
As for Ashu, being the adorable girl that she is, I am not surprised she stuck to your guests :)

Hip Grandma said...

I thuink I'd be like your mother although I can understand your MIL's point of view.My mother was not demonstrative but my children made her come out of her shell.Grandkids are irresistable.

Orchid said...

hey CA....how have you been!
and I have to agree with Tharini......living in the moment definitely makes more sense :)

Just a grail said...

CA- I don't agree with what she is doing at all, but some people are unable to love freely I guess.

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

@HHG: Welcome here ! Its nice to know a grandma's view :)

@Orchid: You with me then ! With school admissions for the older one and some office changes, its been crazy here.

@Grail: Yep .. I agree... mind and heart sometimes do not lead to the same place ... and I think sometimes heart rules :)

roop said...

hehe call it coincidence ... i wrote my post on personal blog today ... and saw you on fitness fervor. cantaloupes!! :))

 

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