Cantaloupe has changed leaps and bounds in the past month and a half. The sibling rivalry / jealousy has taken new heights. When Junior was born, I thought she was the most excited of us all. She had all the while wanted a sister and God had granted her wish. She was so proud to be called a big girl at that time and behaved like one as well. A lot of my friends and family were really surprised to see how Cantaloupe had accepted Junior as part of her family. How deeply she loved and cared about her.
Infact, during our first few doctor visits, our Pediatricians talked to the big sister and thought we had we prepared her before the little arrived. Little did I know that those good / calm / peaceful days would be replaced by the current days.
I gave a lot of thought before discontinuing Cantaloupe from Summer school this year. Will she be able to get adjusted to school once she starts again? Will she miss her friends? Will we be able to keep her busy throughout the day? Will she get adjusted to my mom staying with us? I told myself that this would perhaps be the special time she will get to bond with her sister and grandma. Though it was going to be difficult to keep pace with her energy, we decided to keep her home. (BP was not very pleased with this idea)
She did bond with my mom during these days ... she did develop a strong feeling towards her sister and I do want to believe that overall she had a good summer break as well. (though she missed her friend A sometimes)
Cantaloupe started school without a fuss. But gradually it is turning out to be a big challenge to send her off to school. She makes a big fuss about brushing in the morning. It is sad ... but almost takes 30 - 45mins of negotiation before she brushes her teeth. An equal amount of time is taken to bathe her. Initially we did not want to believe it was due to sibling rivalry ... but now she is quite vocal about it. Why doesn't Junior have to brush her teeth everyday ... she asks. When we point out that Junior doesn't have any teeth ... she doesn't want any of hers either.
If we talk to her about good girls going to school and having fun there. ... she says I don't want to go to school ... I'll become a doctor if I go there. (note, no one ever asked her to become a doctor ... she was the one who got this idea of becoming a doctor, perhaps hearing us talk to my cousins who are studying to become doctors)
She is becoming stubburn by the day. With her testing my patience on trivial matters, I am losing my patience as well. I end up yelling her at times which makes her worse. I know I have to control my emotions ... but there is only so much I can take. Like the other day, she bit Junior's fingers. Poor little baby was peacefully sleeping in her bed when this happened. When I asked her why she bit her .... she said, she is not listening to me. She is not playing with me. Just 2 months, Cantaloupe always kept saying that babies don't start playing until they are a year old. What happened to her all of a sudden ? I look at her in disbelief !!
Few days back ... she had potty accident as well .... she hasn't had an accident for almost a year or so now .... what happened to her all of a sudden? The worst part is she is not sorry about it either. Perhaps in her mind, if Junior can do it, so can she. Thankfully she has not repeated this act again.
Its not that we don't spend time with her. Either me or amma or BP are with her all the time ... save for her TV time (about 1 hr a day) Its so hard to believe that my once friendly loving daughter is becoming so hard to deal with.
Everyone has been saying Time will change things ... I just hope she changes back to her loving self soon. Its heart wrenching to see her do petty things just to grab attention and get lectured (sometimes shouted) about it. There is no doubt she loves her sister and family ... and she knows we love her as much as well. I hope she becomes her oldself soon.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
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7 comments:
i hear you, sister! if I had a check list, I could tick off every one of those items. fight for brushing, biting sibling, unexplained potty accident...been there, seen that.
I think the realization that this baby is here to stay permanently has just hit her. And that each one is getting different treatment. one gets to stay home with mom while the other has to leave. that is probably the hardest thing to accept. have you read books about being an older sister? or can you get together with her friends who just had new siblings? can her teacher talk to her about it?
all that done, as moms, I think we just have to accept. that it is hard on them. things may not change back to the way they were, but at least we can hope for a harmonious time.
And here i am thinking you had all the answers!
ditto ditto. feel better? :)
@Kodi's mom: Thats precisely her point about going to school as well. Everyday she asks, is Junior going to day care? When the answer is No, the whinning starts. Ah! Her friends, they have the exact same behaviour (according to their parents). We did talk to her teacher at school. She was quite surprised when she mentioned her lack of interest in coming to school. The said teacher mentioned that Cantaloupe was one of the cheerful kids in the class who always talked about how much she loved her family especially her sister.
Atleast I know she is having fun at school !!
@poppins: Lets talk and talk more ... hopefully we will find some solution.
Aww... Hugs to you... Hope things sort themselves out soon...
Ditto, CA. It's hard - but then there are also heartwarming moments that make it all worthwhile, no?
Hugs dear.. and hope things sort out soon!!
@Pixie / Preethi: Please pray some sanity is restored in the house soon.
@Maggie: Oh yeah ... there are moments which re-assure me that having 2 babies is just so special
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